Patience

Sometimes it's very hard to be patient. But one of the most remarkable characteristics I noticed in the nurses and doctors who dealt with me was patience. It was not a patience learnt in a textbook but rather one that seemed to be a deeply ingrained quality. I experienced what I can only describe as a rainbow of patience. That is to say there were very many expressions and forms that it took.

I saw this quality in the doctor who dealt most gently and patiently as he tried to persuade me to go for my CT scan in my post-operative distress. He was a very busy surgeon whose time was in demand but who did every thing he could to gently cajole and convince me. Then there was the male nurse who stood by attempting to reassure me all the while. Another bore with my lame attempt at humour as he tried to do the very serious job of assessing of my state of mind. When he asked who was the prime minister I answered "Sarah Brown" - (Gordon Brown's wife, dear reader).

Of course I know that we all are sinners and that the Bible teaches that the heart is deceitful above all things. I also knew that I only saw these people in one setting and that not every one of them was equally patient. I knew that all the sins that lurk in and burst out of the human heart were in doctors and nurses as much as in anybody else. But the degree of gentleness and patience which I saw in them was remarkable. The Irish nurse, who in his chirpy way brought me a bedpan and explained how to use it, showed this patience. So did the young physiotherapist who quietly and reassuringly listened to me pouring my heart out and crying my eyes out as I explained how I felt on the day after the operation. Then I thought of the Jamiacan nurse of similar age to me who saw me quietly sobbing (very emotional aren't I?) about the "missing" couple of days of which I could remember virtually nothing. She noted that I had a Bible on my bedside and wisely and discretely advised me to leave those days in God's hands. She went on to advise that I might like to take time to memorise something from my Bible. I saw that same patience one night at about 3am when I had spent some time working myself into a state of feeling guilty about my flippant "Sarah Brown" answer. At this point I called for a nurse and told her that I thought my chest felt tight and my blood pressure had risen because of these thoughts. She showed concern, a reassuring tone and patience as she questioned and tested me.

The patience I saw in these folk forcefully underlined the fact that good character traits are found in all sorts of people not just in Christians. Many people take this truth and imagine that good character and good works can save a person. However, such character is by no means able to satisfy God's perfect standard (particularly if we dig a little deeper). Following this train of thought I concluded that it is only through God's mercy that anybody is able to do any good thing at all. Perhaps on the day of judgement there will be many (medics among them) who will regret that they never thanked God for the opportunities he gave them to show patience. Nor were they thankful for the strength he gave them to persevere in doing so. Even the examples and upbringing that taught and encouraged them to be patient were granted to them by God. My thinking at this time was leading me to conclude that patience that is not motivated out of love for God will surely be rejected by him.